Who Do You Think You Are?
by filmgrl13
Summary: Companion to Anything Goes and Hot. Jack takes the team to a karaoke bar. Round 3.


**A/N - **As an appology for being gone for so long, here's the third piece of the karaoke bar adventures. I have to admit, it's not my best, but honestly, I don't really like Gwen, and I couldn't find a good song for her to sing.

**Who Do You Think You Are?**

Once again it had been a long week at Torchwood. Everyone had been on edge for the past week.

Gwen and Rhys were currently not speaking to each other. Ianto had actually passed out from exhaustion the previous day. And Jack was sick of the stupid joyriding blowfish.

Jack realized that it was time for another night out. The karaoke bar was becoming a regular thing.

Once again, the Captain drove. Gwen was too preoccupied about her husband to worry about such trivial things. And Ianto, he was still off-balance.

When they arrived, Jack parked and ushured everyone inside. This week Gwen guided Ianto to their fast becoming regular table while the Captain procured the alcohol.

Not even twenty minutes later, the three were buzzed. Ianto actually looked a bit more focused, and Gwen relaxed. Jack was just relieved that the tension was melting away.

After a bad performance of some unrecognizable song, the owner was looking for a new "volunteer."

He approached Torchwood's table, and this week it was Gwen's turn.

The two men looked at each other, unsure of what song she would choose.

A minute later, music started to play, and the only female member of Torchwood started singing (badly).

"The race is on to get out of the bottom,  
The top is high so your roots are forgotten."

Once again Jack and Ianto shared a look.

"Giving is good as long as youre getting,  
Whats driving you is ambition and betting,  
I said who do you think you are?  
I said who  
Some kind of superstar?"

Jack, who was trying to supress a laugh, glanced over at Ianto, who was squinting at Gwen with a look of confusion on his face.

"You have got to swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Who do you think you are?  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,  
Show me how good you are,  
Swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Who do you think you are?  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,  
Show me how good you are."

Gwen had started (trying) to shake her hips and tilt her head in time to the music.

Ianto then turned his still confused expression over to Jack, who raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

"Youre swelling out in the wrong direction,  
Youve got the bug, superstar youve been bitten,  
Your trumpets blowing for far too long,  
Playing the snake of the ladder, but youre wrong"

By this point in the song, Gwen started to add clumsy hand motions, causing Jack to burst out laughing. (Which only seemed to confuse the poor Welshman next to him even more.)

"I said who do you think you are?  
I said who  
Some kind of superstar,  
You have got to swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Who do you think you are?  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,  
Show me how good you are,  
Swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Who do you think you are?  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,  
Show me how good you are."

The music changed a bit for the next part and Gwen crouched down on the stage, holding the microphone close to her mouth.

"You have got to reach on up, never lose your soul,  
You have got to reach on up, never lose control."

She then jumped up, which startled Ianto, causing him to fall off his chair and make Jack laugh even harder.

"I said who do you think you are?  
I said who  
Some kind of superstar,  
You have got to swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Who do you think you are?  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,  
Show me how good you are,  
Swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Who do you think you are?  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,  
Show me how good you are."

After the last round of the chorus, Gwen started swaying a bit.

Swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,

Swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,

Swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,

Swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it,

Swing it, shake it, move it, make it,  
Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it.

Show me how good you whoo whoo!"

As she sang the last two lines over and over, she got quieter and quieter until she finished the song mumbling into the mike.

She then dropped the microphone, and walked clumsily back to the table.

When she sat down, she glanced at a near-hysterical Jack trying to help poor Ianto up.

After he calmed down and got the Welshman on his feet, the Captain turned to Gwen and said, "Spice Girls?"

She just shrugged in reply before letting her head fall onto the table.

He then realized that it was time to go, so he ushered his employees back to the car. After Gwen was safely delivered home, Jack half-dragged, half-carried Ianto into his flat.

He brought the younger man to the bed and helped him down gently before grinning slyly and asking, "Hey Yan? Can you swing it, shake it, move it, make it?"

The exhausted Welshman opened his eyes before replying slowly, "Only if you show me how good you are."


End file.
